Err… Sex is not a bargaining tool, NEXT!


Hello mortals,
I know it’s been a while, my bad. I have been freed from the clutches of civil service and commercial writing, so I can go back to my blunt writings- welcome back to my miseducation.
I get RATHER irritated when I hear “but we had sex now, so he/she should…”. The thing is just because you decided to spread your legs or rather do the more than 50 pumps doesn’t mean it was a gateway to automatic respect, money, attention, a new life etc. The Kardashians life does not happen for all *whispers* you know I mean Kim right? Ayt moving on.
When you decided to have sex with him or her, there was no imaginary contract signed via the use of tongue that he/she would have to respect you or make you my partner in the morning. The thing is sometimes, and not just women cause men equally get emotional about sex, tend to forget to bring common sense and a sense of logical reasoning into a conversation. There are always signs leading to how the relationship with this person is going to go. Is he talking dirty to you always, are you speaking about the future? How does he/she introduce you to their friends? Were there public dates and not just ‘Netflix and chill’ times? Everything in you knew where this was leading but yet you went in with EYES wide open then went and caught feelings- why did you do that??!
We’ve all been used one way or the other so it’s not a new something, people have been using sex as a bargaining tool for centuries but in this latest century we are in, it’s still done but now terms like ‘shag buddy’ ‘friends with benefits’ have been coined.
Now IF you want an Olivia Pope lifestyle, that is going from side chick to somehow main chick that is still not officially claimed (I stopped watching Scandal, is she now main chick by any chance?) then that’s a different story. You can attempt to be the exception to the rule but you cannot always achieve this without hurt, moments of disgust, self-esteem reducing dramatically… just know that it comes at a price.
My main beef is people now feeling that just because we had sex I owe you something. I REALLY do not owe you ANYTHING. I do not have to like you the morning after, I do not have to buy you credit, you do not have to become my driver, you do not have to pick me up for food, you do not have to call me in the morning- if anyone experiences this after that was the choice of the parties involved; it is not an obligation.
I know, I may sound mean, as usual, but I need to be because you deserve to show yourself some respect, you deserved to be treated with respect and if you don’t have it for yourself? How can anyone else give it to you?
Morale of the story, don’t feel that all problems will be solved because you shared an intimate moment together, sadly not all people, even men (yes men), can remain sane and not act differently because of this intimacy that may have lasted for about 5 mins – 1 hour (some people are blessed with such skill).
Use your personality, kindness, hardwork as a bargaining tool, not your genitalia’s skills.


This has been a public service announcement.

Original post culled from