Games in Relationships: Good Girl Gone Bad

A friend of mine said “women often times devalue their self worth by over rating the need for a man. Ladies you’re worth the same with or without him”. It immediately gripped me because not many girls, growing into women, know that really if you are just yourself? Someone will eventually like you for you.  
Why do most women decide to flip from this “good girl to gone bad” persona? It usually starts and begins with a boy. Maybe you were once that girl who was trusting, kind, caring, then a “badder chick” came and stole your man which now led you to change from the good girl in the name of “shine your eye”. You listened to the women on TV or your friends, who have men on a leash, have the upper hand in their relationships, advice you to “shine your eye”, “stop being naïve”, then you became a “bad girl” in order to get a man and then punished any man who came in your path because of the boy who hurt you initially. Thus saying good-bye to your innocence. This is usually what turns men into players too.  
It’s a dog eat dog world out there, many women have been led to believe that a real man loves a bad girl, being all good and nice won’t get you further… I know because I was one of them. Society helps with this notion, you watch shows and you see the “bad girls” getting the guys or you see the runs girls enjoy the lavish cars, money etc. You have to ask yourself; every time you see a woman being “a bad chick”? Do you know how much of her soul she had to sell to attain that façade of “bad”?  
You believe you need to become harder, badder, tougher in order to get the man but the truth is “the right woman can activate the good in any man” so its not necessarily about how good or bad you are… it could just be- he isn’t meant for you; the right man will not let you be short of the perfection that you are. Why not prepare yourself for the good man who is out there and not attract weak men who need to be treated badly before they can love? I understand how scary it is to be the “good girl” and continuously trust especially if you’ve been burnt so many times. Why kiss SO many frogs to get to your prince when you could have just been patient and sifted through the right ones to find your perfect fit? It doesn’t make sense playing mind games in order to prepare yourself for someone who deserves you… why play games to get the man? Do you think it’s possible that the man or woman you are looking for has equally been scarred and is looking for you to be their band-aid rather than their problem?
STOP losing yourself trying to be something you aren’t just to get what you think everyone has gotten… I assure you its not always greener on the other side- just be you. You used to be a good girl dating one guy at a time, if you are only dating a lot of men just so you don’t get your heart broken? Then you are wasting your time and you might as well start counting your cats because its them that will keep you company in your child bearing ages and golden years.  
The more value you place on yourself? The more GOOD decent men will come your way… if you put out bad energy into the world? You will attract bad energy ergo bad men. Stop “trial and error”… decide on what you want, be patient for it to come, while you are getting smart and strong enough to handle it. The goal shouldn’t be learn the game so you can win… but rather remove yourself so you don’t have to play at all. You’re meant for someone… they are looking for you too; don’t interrupt the process by being a “good girl gone bad”.

Original post culled from