“Love May Not Be For Me”

 
 
Greetings mortal.
You ever feel like it’s never you that gets the prince charming/princess? And later you hear your tyrant, dictator, thorn in your side is now someone else’s prince charming or princess? You were sadly the punch line to someone else's happiness. It’s the truth sadly but never for once doubt that you will never know love or remain in love but most importantly will be loved back.
You ever see that movie “Good luck Chuck” (LAWD I hated that movie…iDigress) it was about a man who was cursed- whoever he slept with would get married… but just not to him. You see a lot of people feel that way now. I have a friend who felt that way, his exes are happily married now, it wasn’t a curse… he just showed them what to learn from the relationship, which they now implemented in their new lives, that made marriage possible no? There are genuinely people that either drive men crazy or drive men back to their exes because they realize there is nothing more out there for them… you were the “punch line” in that story sadly. You see you showed your lover that he/she can do better/deserves better or this is not what he/she wants for the rest his/her life. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with you… you just haven’t met yours yet but in the meantime? You are doing the world a service if you choose to look at it this way- you brought 2 people together who are a much better fit together than yourself and the said person. #Consolationtechniques
I used to tell one of my friends that men date her to realize the awesomeness they already have in their lives (mean as it may sound but it was sadly true). You see truth is it’s not her fault, she already set a standard for herself she has probably been through a lot so she has set a level of tolerance for each attribute he exudes… so when things don’t happen her way or the way she envisioned it happening? She may just drive the guy crazy by her “nagging” and constant hounding of how he isn’t reliable, considerate, vigilant and etc. and inevitably this will drive the man crazy and he will enter his next relationship learning all these things she taught/pointed out to him and the new girl will enjoy him like you never did. I say it’s not her fault again because of the hurt she endured during in her naivety stage, that made her set such high standards; all she needs now is that one patient person that makes her forget the words “disloyal”, “player”, “shady” etc.
Thing is you need to learn how you tick properly before you can even help someone else tick. You need to know yourself thick and thin before entering a relationship that before you stupidly compromise in the name of “I want a relationship”.  You cannot fall for the first person who showed interested in you after your last relationship. You need to fully understand yourself and be “stable” mentally. You can’t keep entering relationships and blaming the other person if you’re doing the same thing and expecting different results. Yes everyone is different, one may like your crazy while the other likes your quiet, my point is don’t leave every relationship as a failed venture, look at it as a way to learn about yourself and your TRUE do-s and don’ts.
Love is not an easy thing to earn, cultivate and have, it is not as easy as lust so do not be so hard on yourself if all your “love” was not acknowledged, it just means the person who broke your heart doesn’t deserve it not that you are a problem and you’ll never know love. You do not need to settle for 20 mins of good sex to feel some form of human connection to make you question or even doubt yourself. You do not need any human who is full of mistakes, non-perfection to make you feel less than someone who matters. Your story should never be told by anyone else except you, YOU set the rules and you set the tone. There is something a friend said to me once, he said “worry about only yourself and your parents that’s all that matters” to be honest when he first said it to me, I felt more of pity for him than someone who should be taking his “caring” advice but I understood what he was saying- love you first before you can fully love others. Sometimes we think we are giving someone love and a part of ourselves but we are really giving the other person’s perception of love to them and not your TRUE perception- sometimes we don’t even know what we have to give but stay steady giving and giving until you ask yourself the ultimate question one day- “what the hell I’m I doing and what the hell was I thinking”.
Be you always, as cliché as it may sound- love yourself first and if you can’t? How can anyone else? Love is for you too.
 
This has been a public service announcement.

Original post culled from http://miseducationofmimi.blogspot.com/2015/08/love-may-not-be-for-me.html