You’re with Him, not Me, Drag me Not, I Am The Friend.

Greetings mortals,
I know it’s been a while, forgive.
So! I know the title is long but didn’t know which other way to phrase it cause that is what this post is about, dragging your friends into your relationship woes.
I have genuinely never understood this- I am your friend, I have covered for you etc. but I am not your significant other’s friend nor am I in your relationship so why should I be dragged into problems? When you lot were love making and doing those cute talks over the pillows with each other I definitely wasn’t present, I have no selfie or hashtag to prove that but WHEN shit hits the fan, I’m in your relationship.
I would like to discuss unnecessary scenarios that I think women, especially, should have more sense about:
CHEATING
Now ANYONE who knows me knows that I constantly say- if I catch your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating, I will NOT tell you. People usually think I am disloyal for this, I truly I’m not and no I am not the one your partner is cheating on you with; I have just learnt from experience to sip tea and mind my own business. I would advise you to listen to me. You see the thing is, you may trust your friend SO much to say “Friend, I know you have my back like that, I will only put the blame on him/her” but NOPE it usually is “how do you know?” “Where were you that you saw him/her” “until I catch him/her red handed I won’t believe it”. THEN they go confront and what’s the usual twist? I’ll tell you, YOU the Martyr, Samaritan, loyal friend gets blamed and is maybe accused of jealousy and lying. If that doesn’t happen then it will be both of you insulting the guy/girl together then they work it out and then you have to pretend you didn’t mean all that or learn to not get irritated when you hear his/her name or your friendship is basically over but you get the gist. Don’t drag yourself in a pointless scenario if you don’t have ACTUAL proof and it must be in picture or video, anything else could be easily manipulated or explained but still DRAG ME NOT.
GOSSIP
YOU’RE WITH HIM, NOT ME, DRAG ME NOT, I AM THE FRIEND.‘He said, she said’ just DRAG ME NOT. Now Gossip is inevitable but I genuinely believe you allow yourself to an extent for what information flows that is used against you and what ‘gossip’ starts up about your relationship. NOW, don’t start a conversation with “don’t tell anyone” if you’ve told someone else apart from me, just because I am the loudest friend or most popular or most anything you have doesn’t mean when your secret is out it must be me then later find out it was the quiet one. I would advise you to have just one vault (i.e. a friend that you tell all to) or if you have many vaults know the specific gist you told them so that way you will know who let it out OR an easier way, for peace of mind, talk to your partner and DRAG ME NOT into anything. Having problems with your partner? Talk to your pastor, therapist, your local stripper or bar tender, I am only your friend don’t stress my life out because you are in a relationship.
OUTINGS
YOU’RE WITH HIM, NOT ME, DRAG ME NOT, I AM THE FRIEND.NOW women tend to this a lot and I hope every woman reading this learns. Just because your boyfriend/girlfriend decides to be with his boys/girls more than you, it is NOT my fault, DRAG ME NOT please. I didn’t tell him/her to be away from you, he/she made the choice to hang, you need to check what’s wrong with your relationship that they don’t want to be around you,  yes I said it. DRAG ME NOT into your problems, I am only being there for my friend. Don’t call me trying to subtly find out where your partner is, don’t try and turn me into the therapist, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Don’t start eyeing me or giving me attitude because your partner doesn’t pick up the phone when you call, it isn’t my fault. If things were amazing at home or in your relationship then you won’t have a problem of my influence. If you know your partner’s friend is a player trust her/him enough to not be their friend. If I want to be a player, it’s my life not yours. Don’t make me lose a friend or worse blame me for your partner’s lack of company because you don’t believe in my choices. And honestly anyone you are with that is easily influenced by his/her friends should not be with you. I personally encourage night outs without your partner, it helps the relationships.
Now this is for anyone who has been a ‘dragger’ or a ‘draggee’, try to remove yourself from as much drama as possible. You’ll find that when it’s right, you’ll never know drama.
         
All this has been a public service announcement.

Original post culled from http://miseducationofmimi.blogspot.com/2015/11/youre-with-him-not-me-drag-me-not-i-am.html