SEX…………. and the Grinch

SEX!!!  *giggle*

Now that is an exercise that everyone (especially in this part of the world) likes to pretend they don’t do…….. well those that aren’t married…… and they be humping like rabbits.  Hypocrisy aside its an interesting exercise and tied in with the grinch it has lead to some interesting and compromising situations – I’m sure you’re all gagging for my funny stories, maybe later……. over some dinner and a glass of wine.

First off, I’m about to vent right now, there are certain entities I would like to sue.  The first would be Walt Disney.  Fine as a kid sex is not the first thing on your mind when you watch the little mermaid or the princess and the frog, but hell……. that concept of happily ever after did not prepare me for the reality of sex and love – well that is another interesting topic for another post.

The next one is Mills and Boons.  At no point do ANY of those books prepare you for the messiness that is sex.  All those bodily fluids, the heat….the sweat….. the noises…. is not the pretty picture those books make it out to be.

Rant over back to the real topic at hand.  Religion and morals aside, sex is one of the rights of passage growing up as a young buck.  From the moment you enter your teens, you talk about it, fantasize about it and for most of us lie about our experiences with it.  There isn’t a rule book that tells you what to do or how to go about it…….. most of us just muddle through trying to achive that sacred orgasim.

For Sicklers all of this applies in addition to what I call the Russian Roulette syndrome, let me explain.  While sex is a powerful & enjoyable experience (just ask Henry VIII, dude started a new religion just so he could bone Anne Boleyn) it’s also quite strenuous and can cause a crisis.  The act in itself, if done too vigorously – I know, I know porn has a lot to answer for – can cause an attack during (this totally sucks balls – pardon the pun) and after (at least there is the pleasure before the pain).  So Sicklers have to ‘prepare’ for the act…..we’ll get to this later but know that as with everything the Grinch – spontaneous little devil – can still make an appearance.

I can hear the young ones complaining already……. why does one need to prepare for sex?  This totally kills the spontaneity of the situation, why can’t I be like normal people that just do it???!!  This is just another thing the Grinch uses to complicate my life.  I hear you, but you know what? Sex is a wonderful thing……..suck it up and deal.  You not taking care of yourself does not only affect you.  Case in point was when I carelessly had sex with an individual who didn’t know I was a sickler after a wild nite out clubbing.  EPIC FAIL!!  The night ended with an ambulance ride to A&E and the poor man running for the hills thinking that he had ‘broken’ me.

The other point is this…… if you are pursuing a serious relationship with someone and you have a crisis every time you have sex best believe, despite how good the other person is, it will put a strain on your relationship.  So how do you – the Sickler – prepare for ‘la petite mort’?  I did a quick scan on the internet and I was pleasantly surprised that in other parts of the world people do talk about it……. in depth.  The Sickle Cell Warriors site had an interesting article that stressed the following points;

  1. Hydrate excessively.  Sex is a physical activity, and like all physical activities, you will perspire and lose bodily fluids. So drink water before, during, and after without shame.  Sure you might have to break to pee, but at least you won’t be in pain after.
  2. Premedicate. For some, taking painkillers before sex helped to stem the tide of a mini-crisis afterwards.
  3. Talk to your partner.  Tell your partner that you might have some limitations around sex. Communication is essential and will help your partner be a vanguard of your safety. Tell him/her that you are excited about the boudoir session, but need to protect your health.
  4. Listen to your body.  You must remember that “Pain is your Body telling you that You Need to Take a Break.” So when you are having sex, if you feel pain, stop. Change positions frequently so that you don’t lose blood flow in any areas. And remember, you don’t have to be going hardcore every single minute. Sometimes, it’s the pauses between sex that elevate your intimacy.
  5. Set the environment.  Your bedroom should not be too hot (you will sweat more and dehydrate faster), or too cold (you will vaso-constrict and sickle faster).  Choose a decent temperature, that is comfortable for nudity.  Men—remember that women have to be romanced in the mind first. Women—remember that men have to be seduced visually first.
  6. Frolic with Foreplay.  For people with sickle cell, foreplay is your friend. Foreplay gets your partner hot and bothered, and yet, it doesn’t have you over exerting yourself.  Don’t rush the foreplay—drag it out, take it slow, and leave your partner simmering and almost about to explode.
  7. Be Safe.  Safety is key. Have fun, play hard, play safe, use condoms/birth control.  Make sure if you do plan to procreate, that your partner has been screened for SC trait. Better safe than sorry.

I hope this post has helped but I wonder if any of you have any tricks that you have found to help?  Don’t hesitate to leave your comments and for those that are more sensitive my email is